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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish funeral? 1 less drunk"

"How many ska kids does it take to change a light bulb? Three; one to drop the bulb and two to yell ""pick it up pick it up!"""

"DATE: so...this is your place? ME: yea...not fancy but it suits me. *opens flap of bouncy house* oh, also do you mind taking off your shoes"

"Where does the aardvark family always come first? In the phone book!"

"We saw, we came... ...and we were told to get out of the girls' locker room."

"We get it - ""Bacardi"" rhymes with ""party,"" ""bottle"" rhymes with ""model,"" and ""sex"" rhymes with ""text."" You rappers can stop rapping now."

"The coolest letter. Why is N the coolest letter? Because it's N.Ice"

"The word ""Caesar"" has always bothered me. It looks like a and e are mad at each other."

"[in a meeting] ok a Dracula movie except he's new in town and biting is illegal but he befriends the pastors daught- ""that's just Footloose"""

"I tried publishing my novel... in which I stress the danger of global warming by describing my experience battling encroaching fire ant colonies. Every publisher called it ant-I-climatic."