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Joke of the Day

"Who's Irish and sleeps on your porch? Paddy O'Furniture!"

"I had to pay $150 for the bowel prep medication before my colonoscopy. That shit was expensive. (Crosspost from r/funny. This fits better here.)"

"Now I know it's the 100 Aniversary of the Titanic and all... But aren't the Italians going a little far with their tribute"

"I dont have a ""college fund"" bc my youngest will most likely get a scholarship and my oldest thinks all dogs are boys and all cats are girls"

"I told my kids I'd rather they ""pull the plug"" than let me live in a vegetative state dependent on machines. So they hid my phone charger."

"My wife's an experienced navigator, she gives great headings."

"Can't wait for Daylight Saving Time to end this weekend so the clock in my car will have the correct time."

"I think I'm going to sell my theremin I haven't touched it in ages..."

"My wifes birthday My wife asked me for something that went from 0-200 insanely fast. Bought her a pair of scales"

"Knock-knock. Who's there? Disapointing Frog. Disappointing Frog who? This joke doesn't have a punchline."