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Joke of the Day

"I started carrying a knife after an attempted mugging a few years ago. Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful."

"A man walks into a bar..... His alcoholism is tearing his family apart."

"How do you fit an elephant in a Safeway bag ? You take the ""F"" out of way."

"Islamist Humor Planes blowin' up On a Tuesday"

"Day 1 of tea instead of coffee I was ready to kill myself, but now on the fourth day, I'm ready to kill others"

"How not to be funny. /r/funny"

"I like my coffee like I like my slaves free"

"[diner] ME: I'll have the eggs, please WAITER: how would you like those? ME: painted and hidden for me to find, thank you."

"What's the difference between a really comedian and someone who can't complete a joke?"

"How is sex like putting on a belt? If it's not tight enough, move on to the next hole."