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Joke of the Day

"In the winter you just need to find a corner... Because its 90^o degrees there..."

"How do you make an octopus laugh? Ten Tickles"

"OF COURSE IT'S A GENUINE BEETHOVEN! Look at those brush strokes, the stunning use of colour."

"A woman once asked me for 9 inches and said to make it hurt So I fucked her 3 times and punched her in the mouth."

"Why did the Turkey cross the road? Because he was Trans-Chicken"

"Why did the pirate go to Ireland? he thought he was going to Arrrland."

"[car dealership] WIFE: let me do the talking, ur a terrible negotiator SALESMAN: u can drive off with this car for 18k ME: we'll double that"

"This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin.. I don't even know what that means but now I'm hungry."

"Jesus and Mohammad are debating religion. Jesus, with a smug smile, says: ""My faith can move the tallest of mountains."" Mohammad confidently replies: ""How well does it do with skyscrapers, brotha?"""

"Writing my first book, I got stuck on the details... ...ended up haiku."