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Joke of the Day

"what's that lassie? ""Bark"" Timmy's in a well? ""Bark"" and he's jerkin it? ""Bark"" he's looking at what?! ""Bark"" dude I've heard enough"

"I'll always be here for you ... Unless we run out of beer, and someone has some over there. Then I'll be over there for you."

"You got the whitest teeth ever come across."

"Me and the wife were having a row the other day when, all of a sudden, the strangest thing happened... Our canoe sank."

"Hahaha you're killing me. ~Me to this cigarette."

"Self is a word in Itself."

"What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use? AAA"

"make love, not war 1) In the 60s, they made love, not war. I'm married. I make both."

"If I had Pokemon, I'd pretend to understand them. They'd go ""Bulba bulbaaasaur"" and I'd be like ""What do u mean Hitler did nothing wrong?"""

"Should I buy a new pair of sunglasses or just leave $60 in a restaurant?"