205717

Joke of the Day

"ebola jokes ... its all about the execution :')"

"Just found out my wife has cooties. I'm headed to the clinic to get tested. So many emotions right now"""

"WAITER: Would you like any dessert? DATE: No, just the ch- ME: CHEESECAKE. Just the cheesecake."

"Person: Raise your glasses! Me: Hahaha! *raises bottle*"

"Her: Put your finger on it! Me: Like this? Her: Oh yeah, I can finish now! -Making the perfect bow"

"Beethoven found that having diarrhoea always helped him compose quicker By midday, he was already on his third movement."

"Ever look in the fridge and be disappointed that all there is for supper is leftover pizza and beer? Yeah, me neither..."

"A priest and a rabbi walk into the bar. The bar tender says, ""What is this, some kind of joke?"""

"[Club] Me: *has debilitating crush on a nerd* Nerd: What you feel is a burst of norepinephrine increasing arousal and focus- Me: *swoons*"

"I am a heathen. I like burning bibles and defiling the name of God. But also I genuinely love giving to charity and always try to be as honest as I can. I guess that I am just very sincere."