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Joke of the Day

"why should you never sleep with a female beekeper? she might give you herbees"

"I used to give anal to other men... But it's all behind me now."

"A new study shows that un-vaccinated children are less likely to be autistic because they are more likely to be dead."

"I don't friend zone people I relationship zone them. You want to be my friend? Too bad, we're dating."

"Where do lightning bolts go on dates? -To cloud 9"

"They say that every time you have sex it's the same amount of exercise as running 5 miles But I think that's bullshit because I've never run 5 miles in 30 seconds."

"The best thing about eating healthy food is all the incredible food you eat an hour later because you're so hungry..."

"What animal is the moodiest? A Bi-Polar Bear."

"I'm already an idiot, I just need a village"

"Brother-in-arms What did the russian soldier say when he held his newborn sibling in his hands for the first time? ""You're my brother in arms!"""