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Joke of the Day

"A skeleton walks into a bar... and he says to the bartender... ""Give me a beer and give me a mop!"""

"What's the oldest trick in the book? The first one."

"Why doesn't anyone let Trump go fishing with them anymore? He always takes the bait..."

"My girlfriend got a tattoo of a shell on her thigh Every time I lay my ear on it I can smell the sea."

"How do you cook vegatables in the microwave ? Take them out their wheelchair."

"I was sitting in a bar... When a guy yells out, ""Linda why didn't you give your mom any grandkids?"" She yelled back, ""Because I swallowed them all!"""

"How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poker face."

"Adding ""and sh!t"" to the end of a sentence to make it sound cooler and sh!t."

"I'm surprised more black people don't relate with NASCAR... After all, there are no rights"

"Smiles from ear to ear. Wife: what are you smiling about? Our dog just took a giant dump in our neighbors yard Wife: God I love that dog."