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Joke of the Day

"Him: Productive conference call? Me: Hell yeah. I painted my toes, posted 6 pictures on IG, and got in one solid nap."

"What's the difference between the Panama Canal and Nancy Pelosi?? ... ... .... One is a busy ditch."

"What do pirates and pimps have in common? They both say ""YO HO!"" and walk with a limp."

"Everyone worries about Pao. They should be worried about... Darude Sandstorm"

"A joke told by the mods of this sub. ""Long"""

"my boss tried to throw me under the bus.. and get me to agree with him."

"German restaurant joke.... I went to a German restaurant and ordered an omelette....I just got a plate with two dots on it....."

"How do you know if your girlfriend is getting fat?? When she starts fitting in your wife's clothes!!"

"If there's two things I've learned in life It's that I'm awful at counting."

"Coaching my son's soccer team, I thought moms would be all over me - no! They are always, ""The popsicles are for AFTER the game."" Bitches."