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Joke of the Day

"my boss tried to throw me under the bus.. and get me to agree with him."

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"Where is Donald Trump gonna put all of the illegal immigrants once he arrests them? Juantanamo"
"They don't even serve apples at Applebee's. Or bees."
"What do you call a prepubescent rapist? ... a smooth criminal."
"A nurse goes to sign a discharge form and pulls a rectal thermometer out of her pocket. 'Oh great, some arsehole's got my pen.'"
"Scientific name for Viagra Mycoxafloppin"
"What do you tell a woman who wants a larger outlook on life? Tell her to stand next to the kitchen window"
"What kind of bees scare neckbeards? Boo-bees."
"Did you hear about that spicy knight? Sir Acha."
"Is that chili in your pocket, or are you just terrified to see me?"