205622

Joke of the Day

"As the anesthetic knocks you out, your surgeon washes his hands and misses a really easy shot into the garbage with the paper towel."

"Heisenberg got pulled over by the cops for speeding Winding down his window, he was greeted by a shout of ""Do you know how fast you were going?!"" ""Not a clue, but I know *exactly* where I was."""

"The Boy Scouts ended their ban on gay adults, which means that soon you'll be able to buy some delicious Boy Scout cookies."

"I could never be on a reality show because I wouldn't want my mom to see the faces I make when I talk to her on the phone."

"A Martini is like a woman's breast... One is not enough, and three is too many."

"In an alternate universe, humans with an extra cromossome are gods, each responsible for a physical property. It has been this way since the Down of time."

"hey there delilah, oh shit no i meant vicky babe i promise you're the only one no this is not a hickey ?it's just a bruuuise ?"

"Hi, welcome to Starbucks! How can we spell your name incorrectly today?"

"What do you call a black man who flies a plane? [2 part] A pilot, you racist. What do you call a Japanese man who flies a plane? A pirate."

"What's the difference between a goat and a ram? I don't goat my dick up a dead baby's ass."