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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend got her period last night while she was sleeping... In other news, I have a Japanese flag for sale now"

"Never tell a joke to a kleptomaniac They take things literally"

"Being hungry again a half hour after eating Chinese food isn't about the food being Chinese, it's about you being American."

"What's the difference between peanut-butter and jam ? You can't peanut-butter it into her ass !"

"I was trying to teach my dog to dance. But he has two left feet."

"Atheism... ... is a non-prophet organization."

"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Russia? He was snowed in."

"Just changed my dating profile headline to: ""Seeking rich old men with bad hearts and no relatives"" ...crossing my fingers"

"How do you know your man is cheating? When he drives by her place the wifi connects"

"I didn't know what to wear the the premature ejaculators meeting... So I just came in my pants."