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Joke of the Day

"Cop: Lets go, boys, no meth in this house. *zoom to fish tank* Fish 1: *nods* Fish 2: [taps on pirate ship] Resume cooking, Lenny. *bubbles*"

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"The human soul weighs 1.2lbs... I know because I've weighed myself before and after I walk into work."
"A Nicki Minaj song makes way more sense if you make up your own lyrics."
"I've feeding my kid Green Beans for St Patties Day so I can have green vomit on me without having to drink 26 green beers."
"The DUMBSQUAD ft. Fern a.k.a DefyingReaper77 (The Funny Life, SECOND)"
"What do cats love to read. catalogs"
"Great minds think alike... That's why we have so many opinions in America"
"What do you call an Asian guy who is a member of ISIS? RICE-IS"
"Singer Neil Diamond started his career as Neil Coal. He changed his name when the pressure got to him."
"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut will sleep with anyone. A bitch will sleep with anyone but YOU."