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Joke of the Day

"I'll get you socks and a dildo for your birthday. So if you don't like the socks, you can go fuck yourself"

"*steals machine parts all year* *gets coal for xmas* ""Santa you idiot, the parts were for a pressure chamber"" *turns coal into diamond*"

"What's the deal with Drake, first he was an actor now a rapper? Must have been all degrassi was smoking. I'll let myself out."

"A man entered 10 puns into a pun contest. When he called in to ask if any of his puns won the contest, the organizer told him, ""No pun in ten did."""

"Oh that's neat so you're a Cancer? Wait...astrologically or to society?"

"I refuse to do laundry because it's racist, because you need to separate white from the colored."

"What do you call a guy who always phones people? Colin."

"After seeing a picture on Reddit of the garbage near the Taj Mahal, I thought to myself ""Wow can there BE a bigger shithole?"" Then I saw the comments section"

"Why is Viagra like Disneyworld? - You have to wait an hour for a three minute ride"

"I like my cream like I like my slaves Whipped"