205424

Joke of the Day

"I gave my friend 10 puns, hoping at least some would make him laugh. Sadly, no pun in ten did."

"I'm writing a movie script about a group of Kenyan refugees who are breaking track records in a suburban American high school... I call it, ""Fast times at Ridgemont High"""

"Skunks are just mean cats with asshole powers. Get it?"

"When you walk into a store buying sexual necessities... New Ariana Grande CD: 18 Tub of Vaseline: 3 XL Box of Tissues: 2 The look of disgust on the cashier's face as you pay: Priceless"

"What is the Highest Proof of Tequila? Juan Fifty Juan"

"""Oh my god! That guy's dead! Oh wait, he's totally fine."" (someone watching soccer for the first time)"

"Michael Gove as Education Secretary"

"What's the fastest game in the world? Pass the Parcel in a Belfast Pub."

"What do you call a fish with no eyes? A Fsh"

"[sees old friend after 4 years] ""God, you were so fat back in school."" ""Yeah, well I lost a lot of it last year."" ""No you didn't."""