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Joke of the Day

"Skunks are just mean cats with asshole powers. Get it?"

"I'm never at a loss for words when I'm drunk. I just can't pronounce most of them and I make up three or four new one's."

"My girlfriend acts like a 14 year old in bed Even though she is 12"

"Barrack Obama won the Olympic Gold Medal Usain Bolt was running for President"

"Tectonic Plates One tectonic plate said to the other, ""I'm addicted to crack"". The other said, ""It's your fault"""

"INTERVIEWER: According to your resume, you like to ""move it move it."" ME: That's correct. I: It goes on like for... 30 pages. M: And?"

"The steak that I put in the Easy Bake Oven as a child is still not done"

"I named my dog Herpes... If she's good, she'll heel. (Stolen from Priscilla)"

"Are you the 7th planet from the sun? Cause I sure would like to probe Uranus."

"I got a new book and I can't seem to put it down. That's the problem with slathering one's hands with rubber cement before touching things."