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Joke of the Day
"If not at Bed Bath & Beyond, WHERE CAN I BUY A BED BATH?"
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"""Let's name it something that people will automatically connect with movies."" - Not the guys who started Fandango."
"First time flying huh? -Yeah how could you tell? Just a hunch. You wanna come down to your seat? The overhead bin is typically for luggage."
"I fucked a girl in an apple orchard once It was great until i came in cider"
"What's the difference between a clever midget and an STD? Well, one of them is a cunning runt... side note: apparently Jim Morrison of The Doors said this gem at a meeting with some record executives."
"After nearly three months of trying... ...my wife just told me that she's pregnant!! She has the worst stutter ever!"
"I went to see a gay magician's show last night. For his last trick, he disappeared with a poof..."
"How did Thor's brother get his powers? Just Loki I guess"
"Why can Warren Buffet pull great stock tips out of his ass? He has a tickertapeworm!"
"The realization that Netflix knows me better than my closest friends...."