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Joke of the Day

"Why can Warren Buffet pull great stock tips out of his ass? He has a tickertapeworm!"

"Why do people in France have to eat frog legs that ""taste like chicken""? If they eat real chicken they'll be arrested for cannibalism. Edit: grammar"

"Alcohol: You know Kung Fu and you're not afraid to use it Brain: This makes sense right now Body: We're on board Pavement: Come at me bro"

"How did the Pillsbury Dough Boy Die? A Yeast Infection"

"GOD: Done! Every animal niche perfectly filled WOODPECKERS: We didn't get anything GOD: Oh. Uh...just pound trees with your face"

"Why shouldn't you ask if someone's a Texan? Because if they are they'll tell you, and if they aren't you don't want to insult them."

"Subtracting the average from a distributing is demeaning."

"What kind of name for a storm is ""Debby?"" Hurricanes should have names like ""Satan"" No one should have their house destroyed by ""Heather."""

"What do you call a pregnant nun who cycles to church everyday? No seriously, a friend asked me this and I didn't know."

"So me and my demons are gonna have a few bloody mary's and see where the day takes us. Would you and your demons like to tag along?"