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Joke of the Day

"What did one math book say to the other? Don't bother me; I've got my own *problems!*"

"I've been told I have to tell a joke about barometers... Ooh, the pressure."

"What did the hurricane say to the coconut tree? Grab onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."

"Did you hear about the kid who brought a home made watch to school? He had a real bad time..."

"A young lady from my office just sent me an email saying ""ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"" Oh boy am I excited, but what does ""ternative"" mean?"

"my husband...just pointed out d new strands of hair growing under my chin..... someones not getn laid tonight."

"I had to fire my tennis doubles partner today. I told him his services were no longer required."

"My friends' girlfriend gets diagnosed with cancer.. He proposed to her on the spot. See ladies, it's not that men can't be spontaneous and romantic, we just don't like long term commitment"

"You know what the difference is between an chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $100 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Homeless people are so lucky. They don't have to pay rent and can eat as many pigeons as they want."