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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the kid who brought a home made watch to school? He had a real bad time..."

"A1 Use this punchline to create a weird, funny tone... ""Listen, we need to sit down and have a long, hard, and possibly phallic conversation."""

"Why do Jews Brag About How Great Their Children Are? Because they don't win traditional dick measuring contests."

"""How dare you judge her size..."" ""The woman has had three children!"" ""For lunch?"""

"Growing up, I had a best friend. When we first met we didn't see eye to eye, but then he grew on me."

"The oldest British joke (10th Century): What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key."

"Two guys are watching a dog lick its privates. One guy chuckles and says, ""I wish I could do that."" The other guy says, ""Pet him, maybe he'll let you."" An oldie, but I always liked it."

"If your legs open up faster than Google's homepage. You are not girlfriend material."

"Don't mind me. Just over here shaking my phone like a Magic 8-Ball, trying to get the screen to rotate back."

"Why did the policeman shoot the empty LED? It was a black one."