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Joke of the Day

"my husband...just pointed out d new strands of hair growing under my chin..... someones not getn laid tonight."

Next Joke
 
"WHAT DO WE WANT AMERICA? ROCK HARD ABS!!! WHEN DO WE WANT THEM? RIGHT AFTER WE FINISH THIS BOX OF DOUGHNUTS!!!"
"Me: why did you stop me? Cop: for starters you're not wearing a seatbelt. Me: what about main course? Cop: step out of the car."
"The Vatican finally recognizes Palestine... Palestine replied, ""Dude. We've met like six times."""
"Why do black men make such good husbands? Because they're already used to being whipped."
"What do we want? Race car noises. When do we want them? Neoooooooooooooooooooooow"
"Traffic wardens are so nice in my area... they always leave notes on my car like 'Parking fine'. edit: this joke is fucking awful"
"What are the magic words for making a spoiled asparagus edible? Impairagus Repairagus"
"What's grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow, grey, yellow? An elephant rolling down a hill with a daisy in its mouth!"
"Who was the first person Aaron Hernandez called after the shooting? Wes Welker. Everyone knows you need a white Bronco to get away with murder."
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