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Joke of the Day

"How do you get Cream of Mushroom in Pokemon? Put 2 Amoonguss' in the daycare."

"To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present, they are due back at the library today.."

"My Drug Dealer I don't even care that my drug dealer's a woman. She's a real heroine."

"What do you call the boner of a necrophiliac? Mourning wood"

"Before social networking you could just completely forget someone existed, it ruled"

"There was a fight outside a chippy the other day.... ... a poor cod got battered"

"Sources are saying Geno Smith threw the first punch but it landed a few yards short and was returned for a touchdown."

"What Do You Call An Asian Billionare? Cha Ching"

"Patient: Doctor you must help me. I'm under such a lot of stress I keep losing my temper with people. Doctor: Tell me about your problem. Patient: I JUST DID DIDN'T I YOU STUPID BASTARD!!!"

"When I die I want to pass like my grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming like the other people in his car."