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Joke of the Day

"A man walks into a police station ""My car has been stolen"" he says laughingly. ""Your car has been stolen, but why are you laughing then?"" The officer says. ""Because my wife was still in it!"""

"I'm never buying a Labrador... Havent you seen how many of their owners go blind?"

"Today is definitely a good day to be kissed but I'm going to sit inside and look at my phone because sometimes that feels like kissing too"

"What does snoop dogg use to wash his clothes? BLEYOTCH!"

"What is the difference between a man and a dog? A man wears a suit and the dog, pants."

"What did the detective say when he tripped over a pretzel left by the perp? Well, that was an unexpected twist!"

"There's no ""I"" in meat, but there's ""me"" and ""eat"", and I don't know how vegans can argue with that logic."

"Who's the most popular guy on a nude beach? The one who shows up with a dozen donuts and two cups of coffee."

"All I'm saying is if I'm not allowed to give a monkey a gun at the zoo they should have a sign."

"What did the gay penis say to the vagina? eh, I don't really wanna go into it right now."