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Joke of the Day

"Everyone gets my UDP jokes. Well not everyone, because sometimes people just don't always get UDP jokes."

"The Mets got Royally screwed...."

"Do you know cat owners are 50% less likely to suffer from a heart attack mainly because their hearts are already broken"

"Why haven't they sent a woman to the moon? It doesn't need cleaning"

"Cauliflower is just cabbage rocking an afro."

"""Why did you leave your last job?"" -I had a typo in a tweet. ""Mistakes happen!"" -I worked for Yahoo Finance. ""Thanks for coming in. Bye"""

"A horse walks into a bar The bartender says why the long face. The horse says ""I finally realise that my alcoholism is driving my family apart"""

"INFORMER!!! Younosaydahdfrxqpgirnmekdmhgjwrztnhyenixblaamm... A LICKY BOOM BOOM DOWN!"

"""Is this a card?"" -the vague street magician"

"Is a person diagnosed with a Multiple Personality Disorder able to get a group rate from their therapist? Just asking for some friends."