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Joke of the Day

"Is Miley Cyrus pregnant? Will The government stay shut down? Will the GTA online servers work? Find out on the next episode of Dragon Ball Z"

"its always terifying when im alone in my apartment and i hear a small child's voice say ""hello"" becuase i dread making smalltalk"

"What does a mexican Highlander say? ""THERE CAN BE ONLY JUAN!"""

"if 9-5 is a full time job, and 11/4 is a part time job, what's 9-11? An inside job."

"Twitter, because my work isn't just going to ignore itself."

"Where do comedian Eskimos live? A Giggloo."

"Fact: A childless person coined the phrase ""Sleep like a baby."""

"PSA: If you have kids, do not label the box of your ...ahem.. special items ""Toys"". It's very awkward to explain."

"I lost all my Pokemon cards in a house fire I only have Ash now."

"What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."