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Joke of the Day
"When someone pushes the ""2"" button in an elevator it should automatically announce their weight."
Next Joke
"What's the difference between a porcupine and a BMW? Porcupines have their pricks on the outside"
"Filing taxes is so depressing. Do you own a home? No. Have a spouse? Not even close. Kids? Not that I know of. Enjoy your refund, loser"
"A man walks into a bar... A man walks into a bar and says: ""Hey bartender! I fucked your mum last night!"" The bartender looks up and replies: ""Fuck off dad, I'm working."""
"Why don't bears wear boots? Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet."
"If you've seen one shopping centre... You've seen a mall."
"I used to be into sadism, bestiality, and necrophilia... ... until I realized I was beating a dead horse."
"Give a man a gun and he can rob a bank Give a man a bank and he can rob the world."
"I bring our baby to the bar so I can throw her at people and slurp down their c**ktails while they're trying to catch her."
"Why are sharts always a surprise? Because you can never see that shit coming."