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Joke of the Day

"Why don't bears wear boots? Cos they like to walk around in their bear feet."

"List of Extremely Stupidly Funny Jokes Comment the stupidest, funniest joke you know!"

"[walks into my bedroom to find my sister having sex with my bf] SERIOUSLY YOU GUYS I CAN'T BELIEVE UR DOING THIS TO ME THAT'S WHERE I EAT!!!"

"[first date] DATE: I think cat people are psychopaths ME: *slowly pushes date's coffee off table*"

"What's the definition of apathy? I don't know, and I don't care."

"I will give Canada this. Their geese are hard to keep in a headlock."

"Did you know that if you take all the people in the world and split them in half you'd be a mass murderer"

"Did you hear about the shampoo shortage in Jamaica? It was dreadful"

"I charged my phone, but I didn't have enough evidence to indict, so I had to let it go."

"To my student loans I am forever in your debt."