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Joke of the Day

"Unrestrained children in the back seat can cause accidents. Unrestrained accidents in the back seat can cause children."

"All through their lives, guys are called either ""young man"" or ""old man."" I guess they cut out the middle man."

"What did the snot say to the nose? I gotta run."

"Man walks in on his son A man walks in on his son masturbating, and gets really mad ""Hey, save that for when you are older!"" By the time the kid was 18, he had three jars full."

"I found a tumor at Bingo last night. It's okay. It was B9."

"Saying a prayer for all the turkeys tomorrow. Also the single people with concerned relatives."

"Is that mine? I was walking down the street when I saw black guy with a laptop. Is that mine? I thought. It looks exactly like mine... but that can't be... Mine should be at home cleaning my shoes."

"You can't name your dog Jeff, that's illegal"

"I bet there are at least a few seconds when a tiger is chasing you where you look back and are like, ""awwww..."""

"If there's Noel.... ...then could a king be born in Israel? (If there's ""No L"", how can there be a king born in ""Is-rye-L"")"