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Joke of the Day

"Is that mine? I was walking down the street when I saw black guy with a laptop. Is that mine? I thought. It looks exactly like mine... but that can't be... Mine should be at home cleaning my shoes."

"There are two types of people in this world: 1)People who tried to move an object with their mind at least once 2)Liars"

"Tonight I'm going to have my favorite drink. It's called ""a lot."""

"I used to be a door to door vacuum salesman... That shit sucked."

"Its supposed to be drizzy today, so expect a lil wayne."

"Study finds Washington state residents consumed 175 metric tons of pot in 2013 (real news) As a result, the state is changing it's slogan to ""Whoa Dude."""

"Dodgeball in gym class... because life wasn't already hard enough when I was 12."

"it might be a handjob for her... but it's a career for me."

"My girlfriend broke up with me because I wouldn't stop quoting Linkin Park. But in the end, it doesn't even matter."

"Classic knock knock joke nsfw Knock knock Who's there? Argo Argo who Argo fuck yourself!"