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Joke of the Day

"What did the snot say to the nose? I gotta run."

"TIFU by taking a shower. I wonder if they've noticed it's missing yet?"

"Netflix just asked me to rate 'Spy Kids 2' and I clicked ""I haven't seen it"" but I have. I have seen it. A lot."

"What gets harder the more you play with it? A Rubik's cube, you dirty minded individuals!"

"Just saw a guy wearing sunglasses on the back of his head practicing his golf swing empty-handed. Hope my daughter's a lesbian."

"Throwing acid is wrong... ...in some people's eyes."

"A Paladin takes his car to a mechanic. ""Whenever I'm driving, I get these strange urges to run over pedestrians."" The mechanic has a look under the car. ""Your alignment is off."""

"Mexican Magician There was a Mexican Magician standing on the stage. He said, ""On the count of three, I will make myself disappear!"" ""Uno!"" ""Dos!"" POOF! He disappeared without a tres!"

"What's up? This guy! (points at self)"

"What's a pirates favorite letter? What is a pirate's favorite letter?"