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Joke of the Day

"You can't name your dog Jeff, that's illegal"

"Here's to honor!... Get honor, stay honor. If you can't come in her. Come honor."

"What do you call an Italian suppository? Innuendo."

"Wonder when that family from Russia is going to realize I took a selfie instead of a photo of them standing in front of the Chinese Theatre."

"I didn't think a McDonald's Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did... OMG, I ATE THE TOY!"

"What's a Ninja Turtle's favorite equation? A radical equation."

"[toddler saves Michael Cera from drowning]"

"You are all beautiful to me ...with the proper lighting. :D Have a great day!"

"Women say it's unfair that men get more attractive as we get older. It's usually because we hit bottom really hard and bounce back up."

"It makes me sad that in this age of computers and video games, children will never understand what it's like to be raised by television."