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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the kidnapping down the street? His mother wouldn'twake him until 3."

"What is dead on its back, 100 feet in the air? A dead centipede."

"With all the negativity world-wide lately, it's nice to see Charlie Sheen has announced something positive"

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo bean? I won't pay 10 bucks to have a Garbanzo bean on my face"

"Of all the things ""Inside Amy Schumer""... ..why can't any of them be funny?"

"sometimes i cry when i chop vegetables other than onions, just so the onions don't think they're ugly or something"

"Why was the ghost on an episode of Hoaders? He was a little... Possesive"

"There was a professional hockey player that had to go to an away game, but he couldn't take his dog along with him. He got 2 minutes for boarding."

"Why does having sex outside suck? NSFW Because of the fucking mosquitoes."

"My mom likes to call from baseball games just to say she can't hear me 25 times."