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Joke of the Day

"I'm glad my mom is such a bad cook If my date can eat her meatloaf with a smile, I know they'll swallow anything."

"Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton walk into a bar... And the joke is on us."

"I was having sex with a woman last night and she kept screaming this other guys name. Who the hell is this ""Rape"" fellow, anyway?"

"The worst thing about pedophiles is... ...they're all fucking immature assholes."

"How do you know if a blonde has been in the refrigerator? There's lipstick on the cucumbers."

"I had tears in my eyes when my dad chopped up Onions I loved Onions. He was a great dog."

"So prince is dead... Which means that half-way through the embalming process, he'll be a half-blood prince."

"""You're going to leave me for someone younger,"" my wife explained. ""That's not right,"" I assured her. ""They could be older too."""

"Who's bigger, Mr. Bigger or Mr. Bigger's baby daughter? The baby, because she's a little bigger."

"Try not to put yourself in a position where you have to say ""I'm not actually a Nazi"""