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Joke of the Day

"I tried to be gay once.. But I couldn't fit in."

"Where does the little king keep his little armies? Up his little sleevies."

"What blood type do people from Taiwan have? Taipei"

"I always wink at the local Funeral Director, because he will be the last one to see me naked, and I don't want it to be awkward."

"i once had a beautiful wife, she was always the prettiest when she was asleep. Unfortunately she died after i gave her too many sleeping pills."

"Wow. Those Spaniards are some die hard Ozzy fans.. ..cause they really went off the rails on a crazy train."

"Why did god invent the yeast infection? So women would know what it's like living with an irritating cunt."

"What do you call two gay guys who look different but sound the same? Homophones."

"[auditions for laundry detergent commercials just so I can splash brightly colored food on myself on purpose]"

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark"