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Joke of the Day

"What drinking game can you play with some Mormon buddies Drink every time r/funny is actually funny"

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"I was completely shocked today when my doctor told me I was colour blind.. It came completely out of the green"
"Thousands of bird droppings are found on a playground.... Police suspect fowl play."
"I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."
"ME: look a possum HER: actually it's spelled opossum ME: you don't no how I spelled it, we're talking HER: actually it's spelled know"
"What is a mosquito's favourite sport ? Skin-diving !"
"Studio Dunkers-that's an odd name for store-brand Oreos. I'd like a written explanation from Duane Reade."
"What's the difference between a lima bean and a chickpea? I've never had a lima bean on my face."
"RIP Paris Terror Attack Victims Never baguette"
"Why did the cat sleep under the car ? Because she wanted to wake up oily !"