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Joke of the Day

"Waiter there is a dead fly in my soup ! No its not it's a piece of dirt that looks like one !"

"Forgive me for this one A German soldier who loves animals can't decide what to do after WWII. His friend says, Otto, it's easy to figure out. You're a Veteran Aryan."

"What do you call a leper in a jacuzzi? Stew. Bonus: what do you do if an epileptic jumps into a jacuzzi? You throw in your laundry."

"Your momma is so fat, we are all concerned for her health."

"I burned 1000 calories by lighting my arm on fire"

"I just bought a thesaurus from the book store, however when I got home I found that all the pages were blank! I have no words to describe how angry I am."

"When I die, I want a disease named after me, with symptoms that include ""being fucking awesome at everything."""

"History: delete Pics: delete Texts: delete Kik: delete ""Why yes, you can use my phone for a second."""

"School joke Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that?! Boy: Me! I'm going home now."

"The bartender asks him what he'd like to drink. A time traveler walks into a bar."