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Joke of the Day

"I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE SALAD. I peed"

"I asked a blonde, ""How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb?"" She answered, ""Two. But they can't fit inside a light bulb to screw in it, silly."""

"I'm not saying your girlfriend is a whore I'm just saying she's under more sheets than the KKK."

"A gift card that only allows the user to purchase more gift cards until they finally go insane."

"Why should you always take at least two Baptists with you when you go fishing? Because if you take only one he will drink all your beer."

"Where do dinosaurs get their pickles from? Vlasic Park"

"I already regret my choice of Julliard to win the NCAA."

"Did you hear about the new Canadian pornographic news network? I'll jizz here, eh?"

"Sorry I declined your Facebook friend request, but I can't have those sideburns popping up in my news feed unannounced."

"What does the alchemist do to please his girlfriend? Elixir."