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Joke of the Day

"I am so high and I made up a joke and I want to tell it and make someone laugh but no one is home so: Whats an epileptics favorite food? SEIZURE SALAD. I peed"

"What idiot named it the English Channel instead of the BB Sea"

"Today a man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation towards the local swimming pool so I decided to give him a glass of water."

"Ibuprofenum and Aspirin are running in a race... Suddenly prednisolone passes them and wins first place. Ibuprofenum looks toward Aspirin and mutters: ""fucking steroids"""

"When I was younger, I was so stupid, I made bad decisions that will haunt me for the rest of my life. And by ""younger"" I mean yesterday."

"My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick Especially since his name is Steve"

"[Deathbed Confession] I wish I'd listened to my girlfriend more often. Especially as I crossed the road after she yelled BUS."

"When i was a kid we played football on a bit of grass at the bottom of the bridge where people often committed suicide... We used the jumpers for goalposts."

"On a flight I asked the guy behind me if he minded me reclining my seat. He said he did. It really put my back up."

"""1990 called, they want their shirt back."" ""...why didn't you warn them about 9/11?"""