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Joke of the Day

"How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? Need to know ASAP."

"Today I had a second helping of hummus. I was arrested for double hummus-ide."

"""Thanks for sending me that 17 second cellphone video from that concert you went to! The audio and video were amazing!"" - said no one, ever"

"Did you hear about the pedophile that never could win a race? He was always coming in a little behind."

"I wanna go to Africa to see where rappers come from."

"If you eat too many salted pretzels on Halloween, what happens the next day? November thirst."

"What is green and flying over Poland? Peter Panski"

"Son: Dad, why'd you name me Achilles? He's from Greek mythology. Dad: Well son, you broke through the trojan wall."

"Everyone had that one lesbian gym teacher growing up."

"What do you call a Chinese who drives an airplane?"