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Joke of the Day
"I had this great joke about Thor... but thinking about it now, it's actually really low key."
Next Joke
"So bored at the airport, I just smiled at a baby to kill time."
"My cat cares about me. LOLZ that's the joke."
"After watching ""Breaking Bad"" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician."
"""You the bomb"" ""No you the bomb""....- A compliment in America.An argument in the Middle East."
"How much does a Rabbi charge for circumcision? Nothing. He just keeps the tips."
"Do you know why Apple steals all their ideas? Cause when they make their own I lose my headphones."
"What is juicy on the inside, dry on the outside, and has ""apple"" in it? A roasted baby with an apple in its mouth."
"Its too expensive to put up Christmas lights these days. I'm just going to hire a bunch of Mexicans to sit on my roof with flashlights."
"ME: *taking their hand* It's okay. We all struggle with connecting. RABBID RACCOON: *hissing & desperately trying to wrench its hand free*"