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Joke of the Day

"After watching ""Breaking Bad"" and the VMAs in the same night, I think I'd rather my kid be a meth dealer than a musician."

"What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep? A WOOLY JUMPER :)"

"Ham and Eggs: A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig."

"Most offensive one liner joke I know.. So I was eating this bitch out the other day and I tasted horse semen so I looked up and said, ""Ooooooh grandma that's how you died."""

"i don't always add and multiply, just sum times"

"If Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus was written today... The solar system would need more planets for the title."

"What do you get when you cross France and Britain? Canada."

"I accidentally watched some gay porn last night... ... it was the worst 28 minutes of my life."

"Whats brown and sticky? A stick."

"...I wanted to design defensive structures for the city.... as it turns out, not my Forte."