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Joke of the Day

"The first guy to clap was really weird ""I enjoyed this so I'm going to hit my hand with my other hand to show my appreciation"""

Next Joke
 
"I get Bi with a little help from my friends."
"If they put a woman on the $10 bill... Wouldn't it be $7.70?"
"ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking please keep your seatbelt on as we--OH MY GOD [plane flies into a giant baby mouth]"
"What is the difference between a black and a bucket of shit? The bucket."
"[1st date] Me: I've got crabs [date leaves] [back home looking at my fish tank] ""It's all right guys, one day I'll find one who'll like you"""
"Come here you little vixen and let me take off your top. -me to my beer."
"I'm walking on sunshine, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and I'm startin' to feel AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS TERRIBLE"
"If Gingrich were to win the presidency... ...can we call his current wife the ""third lady?"""
"Apparently if your girlfriend or wife ever says ""if anything happens to me, I want you to meet someone new...."" ""anything"" doesn't include getting stuck in traffic."