29942

Joke of the Day

"I'm walking on sunshine, AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and I'm startin' to feel AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THIS IS TERRIBLE"

"AMD should make a self-driving car... ...because they specialize in creating things that don't come with drivers."

"My father died recently and I came into a bunch of money. I decided to buy a car and pay cash... and the man at the dealership asked me, ""Why are all these bills so sticky?!"""

"I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on."

"Why did the late man stand on the clock? He wanted to be on time."

"Man bumps into my shoulder ""You're lucky this isn't the Internet pal"""

"What is John Lennon's favourite donut? Strawberry Filled forever!"

"Israel is like STOP TOUCHING ME and Palestine is like YOU'RE TOUCHING ME and Hillary is like I WILL PULL THIS CAR OVER."

"My friend really changed onced she decided to be a vegetarian It's like I've never known herbivore"

"I'm not saying I can perform miracles or anything, but when the Taco Bell employee isn't looking, I can turn water into Sprite."