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Joke of the Day
"What did the grape say when she let her kids play in the sun to long? I hate raisin kids!"
Next Joke
"Ethnic cleansing Is that what Michael Jackson did?"
"What goes ""clip-clop-clip-clop-bang?"" An Amish drive by."
"Teacher: I want you to tell me the longest sentence you can think of Pupil: Life imprisonment !"
"I wonder if a murderer has ever crossed my path, contemplated murdering me, and then thought ""nah""."
"Text Flirting Tip: Don't reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything."
"Turns out if you speak with an English accent during an interview it's expected that you'll continue to speak w/accent after you're hired"
"How do Buddhist monks compare interests? With zen diagrams!"
"I was in the mood for nuts this morning so I chased a squirrel for 3 miles and the little prick led me right to his stash, yum!"
"What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common? It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick."