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Joke of the Day

"What do Donald Trump and the milk in my fridge have in common? It better get thrown out by November 8 or else I'm going to get violently sick."

"""I want my country back"" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country."

"Jewish boy&father A jewish boy goes to his father and asks for 50 dollars. His father replies, 40 dollars? What do you need 30 dollars for?"

"""I'm happy with who I am, sure. But I'm not gonna go around calling myself ""great"" like some of these jerks."" --humble white shark."

"Who ate a lot and conquered Rome? Atilla the Hungry."

"Caught my Vegan roommate... Caught my Vegan roommate crying today while chopping onions. These people are taking it too far now!"

"Does anybody know a rad trigonometry joke? Please don't go off on a tangent."

"My wife asked me how I was going to feel when our son started dating... Apparently jealous was not the right answer."

"Satan: And this is the TV room. Me: This isn't so bad. *turns on TV* *only thing showing is golf*"

"A friend asked me what's my best American impression... ""I don't want to go to the doctor because it's too expensive."""