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Joke of the Day

"I took my kids' screens away so we could spend some quality time together and it turns out they are really terrible to be around"

"What did the racist cannibal have for breakfast? Nigger-o's"

"I was thinking about getting a tattoo... [one liner] I was going to get a tattoo of a cross on my testicles, but I thought it would be too sacrilegious."

"Why does a man name his penis? Because he doesn't want a total stranger making 90% of his decisions."

"Where assholes go to die The cheap toilet paper section."

"Yo mama so ugly The NHL banned her for life"

"The pope is in Israel with a sheik and a rabbi. If they don't walk into a bar, it's all for nothing!"

"[Jesus opens his fortune cookie] SOMEONE WILL BETRAY YOU ""Uh oh"" YOUR LUCKY NUMBERS ARE 4 2 0 6 9 ""Haha nice!"""

"It is true. Time flies when you are having fun. However it is also true that Time eventually rests on a tree branch and shits on your head."

"Can't wait until phones become waterproof so pushing people in pools becomes funny again."