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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the guy who lost his left arm and leg? He's all right now."

"My physics teacher asked me if I understood the chapter on linear motion. I said ""yeah it's pretty straightforward"""

"I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china."

"Mrs Claus hospitalised with severe cramps. Heavy Christmas period to blame."

"I parked in the ""C"" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof."

"Why is a good hooker like a skilled carpenter? No wood gets wasted."

"Ever had that feeling where you just want to jump right out of bed? Me neither."

"Q: Why did Clinton waffle on military action in Bosnia? A: His area of expertise is dodging armed conflict."

"The hardest part about going through a divorce is finding a hitman you can trust."

"What's the difference between a Toaster and Hitler? A toaster can only burn two things at once."