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Joke of the Day

"I parked in the ""C"" section of the parking lot. So, naturally, I had to climb out of the sunroof."

"I Love when my Friends help to Identify themselves as Technologically-Retarded Idiots by changing their Status to: ""WOW I can't believe that you can see who is viewing your Profile!""..."

"Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries"

"What does the ""B"" in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot"

"What travels down an alley and has holes in it? Bruce Wayne's parents"

"How many frat guys does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to change the bulb and three to make a t-shirt about it."

"Jane Austen really squandered the opportunity to write a sequel called ""2 Proud 2 Prejudiced."""

"I'd like to meet a failed scientist, like I do writers. ""I science on the weekends and for free sometimes. I think of it more as a hobby."""

"Today is the best day to propose to your girl... If she accept, its your luck! If not, tell her its April fools!"

"""Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning."" -me, speaking to this leftover pizza."