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Joke of the Day

"*creating garbage cans* God: ""That's where trash goes"" *creating my twitter* God: ""That's where trash comes from"""

"What do Ginger Baker and strong coffee have in common? They are both terrible without Cream."

"I paid $22 to connect to the internet from an airplane flying over the pacific so you guys better provide some worthwhile content"

"In Texas you're allowed to shoot someone just for being on your property. Man if I lived there I'd host sooo many parties"

"What do you call a group of rappers that masturbate in synchronization? Bone Tugs In Harmony"

"It must be hard to be the fat kid in your classroom... And must be even harder for Kim Jong Eun, who is the only fat kid in his country."

"Yo Mama... Yo mama so old and so fat that when she sat down, they called it the Cambrian mass extinction."

"What did the English man say when he walked in on his wife making love to three men? 'Ello, 'ello, 'ello!"

"Sad news. The end of a one-legged man I know is afoot."

"Women who brag about multi-tasking should chill out. There is nothing cool about doing 3 things wrong at once"