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Joke of the Day

"Yo Mama... Yo mama so old and so fat that when she sat down, they called it the Cambrian mass extinction."

"What's a pirate's favorite rapper? Kendrick Lamarrghhhh"

"Why does Snoop Dog carry around an umbrella? Fo' drizzle."

"My son got mad unfollowed me... I disconnected his phone. -I win"

"I tried coke once. And then for like another 3 years to make sure I didn't like it"

"What's the difference between a slut and a bitch? A slut sleeps with everyone A bitch sleeps with everyone, except you"

"Have you heard the one about the dog on the roof? You wouldn't get it, it's over your head."

"How do you circumsize a redneck? kick his sister in the jaw"

"Not to brag, but I was voted ""Most Likely To Mention Something Truly Insignificant As If It Was A Big Deal"" by everyone who has ever met me."

"My downstairs neighbor was yelling and banging on the ceiling until 3 AM Did that bother you? Not much. I was up til about the same time practicing my trumpet."