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Joke of the Day

"Nobody cares that my ears are flattening and my nose is growing longer... I guess its just *irrelephant*."

"What do you call a blind german? A not-see (Nazi)."

"I thought my vasectomy would keep my wife from getting pregnant But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"

"I was arrested for indecent exposure, but, sadly, released for lack of evidence."

"Q: What happened to the Polish National Library? A: Someone stole the book."

"Why did the Indian pedophile miss work? He was feeling a little Sikh."

"What do you call a computer that only plays sad songs? Adele"

"A penis and a condom walk into a bar and spend the whole night drinking, Come closing the penis tries to stiff the bartender... But his friend had him covered."

"My greatest fear is sitting in front of thousands of people while my Google search history is being read aloud."

"last year, I asked Santa for the sexiest person ever for Christmas.... I woke up in a box."